Again and again people ask me why I always say that there is no such thing as good morning and why I’m grumpy in general.
“You know”, I say, “with my job I (am) …
- Look for problems
- Find problems
- Talk about problems
- Supposed to find as many problems as I can
- Supposed to find most serious problems (like crashes) and talk about them
- Afraid I miss important problem
- Afraid that problem will be found not by me, but by someone else
- Expected to win a “race” and find more problems with feature or product than everyone else
- Nervous if I find too few problems
- Think where more problems can be found
- Motivate / instruct / learn how to find even more problems
- Better remember every problem I found in years of my experience, as some problem somewhere can be the same or found with the same means / ways
- I should not believe anyone, unless I really see only minor change with my own eyes. Even if one of the programmers says that he talked to the designer and checked with her, I should not believe it, I should check with designer myself (and find some minor but problems).
“If here were no problems, you would not see me here”, I add, “Because where there are no problems, people don’t need to hire me”.
If they persist, I ask “If you were given $1,000,000 yesterday, would we talk now?”. Most just laugh. “Good morning is where would you be if you were given $1,000,000 yesterday. But you are here. That means that something is not good”.